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DIY Not For The Faint Of Heart

If you love DIY and are good at it, don’t read this post. I don’t want you to feel insulted. If you don’t like DIY, what are you doing reading a post with “DIY” in the title? Seriously . . .

If, like me, you love DIY and are terrible at it, I have just got the thing for you to practice your art.

Before I divulge my secret weapon, let me just set the standard on how bad one needs to be, to qualify as my target audience:

  1. If your husband has hidden the drill because your first (and last) attempt at putting curtain poles ended up in a full house renovation, due to some bits of wall missing – Man, that stuff’s not very strong, is it?
  2. Or, if the last time you power washed your deck, it had to be re-stained, and ditto for the house
  3. Or, if the shower wall that you tiled meowed, due to stupid cat being plastered in said-wall
  4. Or, if your art on the wall only looks straight when you are doing a yoga pose, upside down, after a few bottles of wine
  5. Or, if you have done all of the above,

Then, this post is for you.

Over the years, I had to give up drilling, hammering, sealing, tiling, because the cost of fixing my mistakes was just too high – pff, whatever. So my husband locked all his tools, somewhere, I don’t even know where, swallowed the key, and that’s that. All I am left with is a paint brush. I do like painting and I could still inflict a fair amount of damage by doing so, but I have no patience, so I’m unlikely to tackle a painting project. At least I was. Until . . . I discovered chalk paint!

Chalk paint is absolutely magic! It paints any surface, without the need to sand, prep, or even clean. Nothing. You just show up with your big tub of paint and Bob’s your uncle. And, as if that wasn’t good enough news, it makes hard projects super simple. Take distressing for example. Before chalk paint, you needed to paint one coat, let it dry for a million hours, paint another coat, let it dry for another million hours (have I lost you yet?), then sand the thing, making a mess in the process. When you were done, a week had gone by. That’s if you finished what you started. But with chalk paint, none of that shenanigan. You just paint one coat, and try to do a really bad job at it. Kaboom! Done! Distressed and ready to go! AND, it dries in no time. Well, at least I hope so, otherwise some books are gonna get an unwilling makeover. . .

So guess what I did last week? I bought myself a truck load of chalk paint. My husband has been telling me for years that I cannot paint our furniture because NO WAY. And also, it’s varnished so no can do. You should have seen his face when I told him I was gonna chalk-paint those wooden chests. He looked like a combination of these two emojis,

 

 

 

 

Except, worse.

I haven’t given him the best news yet. With chalk paint, you can paint anything. And I mean, anything: wood, plastic, glass, fabric. Even though it doesn’t say on the directions, I discovered that it adheres really well to stones, after I dropped a can on my patio. And it does a pretty decent job with leather as well, like my shoes can attest to. I wonder what it would look like on clothes. I suppose I could always tell you tomorrow. . .

 

 

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