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Five things a mom must change…

What did you expect? That everything was going to go back to normal after a while – other than the bags under your eyes and the constant sleep deprivation? NO! Everything changes when you have kids.  The way you eat, live and breathe.  Also, you need to adapt your everyday life so you are geared up to handling your munchkins. Here are five things that you need to change in order to keep sane (relatively speaking…):

1. Your wardrobe. As complicated as life gets with children, your wardrobe needs simplifying: no more expensive designers’ clothes, no light colors, no more tight pants, pencil skirts, delicate fabrics. No. Just baggy dresses and sweatpants in boring plain colors. And Pyjamas. Lots of them. Because you’ll end up wearing them all the time…

2. Your car. Same logic as with the wardrobe. No more fancy shmoozy convertible, no delicate accessories like funky surround sound system, or cream leather seats. What are you, crazy?  You just want a plain grey van with everything grey inside. Ideally, you don’t even want any seats in it, but that might not be practical… Remove anything that is not absolutely necessary for safe driving. Because cup holders can only be used to stick old gums in them, speakers are a great place to stuff crackers inside and seat pockets are where kids store the mud that did not come off when they were wiping their cleats on the seats. So yeah… like I said, think about removing the seats altogether…

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3. Your vacuum. Go for industrial strength. The one that sucks the furniture and carpet as well. I mean, look at the state of your  car! You really think that a normal vacuum can handle that?!  Well, it’s the same chaos under the beds, between the sofa cushions and behind the furniture. Except, there might even be some living things breeding there – and I am not talking pets!

4. Your shoes. Argh, that’s so hard. But you really, really, really, REALLY cannot wear high heels any longer. Just give up, will you?!  Sneakers and sleepers are the ONLY realistic options.

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5. Your handbag. Put those little tiny cute funky bags that can only hold a phone and a tissue all the way up on a top shelf, to be forgotten FOR EVER. Or better, surrender them to your daughter so she can play princess with them. Now get yourself the biggest, ugliest most shapeless bag you can fit on your shoulder. Stuff in baby wipes, change of clothes, food, medicine, toys, pens and papers and off you go, mom!!!

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Liking your new look?! Well, you better! Because that’s the new real you!!!

Comments

  1. Ha! That is funny because I definitely just found my old little “cute” purses as I was going through my old closet at my parents house…and put them all in a box in my daughter’s room so she could have her pick before I send them to goodwill. Man oh man, the truth in this post….

  2. Ha! That is funny because I definitely just found my old little “cute” purses as I was going through my old closet at my parents house…and put them all in a box in my daughter’s room so she could have her pick before I send them to goodwill. Man oh man, the truth in this post….

  3. nadege nicoll says:

    So funny! My bags are gathering dust on a shelf and every time I look at them, my daughter asks me to pluck one out for her… In the mean time, my “official” handbag carries so many stuff I think I could survive in the wild for a week with its content…

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