Jobs a mom is expected to excel at: part five

This is the last of my five-fold post about expert jobs moms are supposed to master.  As well as being a super cop, a super sports coach, a super doctor and a magician (just a regular one), you also need to be a cool super-hero. OK, maybe cool is not necessary. Because super-heroes are really cool for anybody below the age of five, but mega lame for anyone older. Yet, you still have the job so you’ll have to make do of it…

What do you do when you wear your super hero hat?

You are able to see without being seen. You are completely invisible to your kids, even though you are standing an inch away from them, waving in their direction in a pathetic attempt to be noticed. It’s quite handy though: when you punish your nine year old boy for hitting his brother and he goes, “I didn’t do anything!”, you can say, “I was there. I saw you.” And that could be the end of the argument, if only he didn’t add, “No you were not!!!”

Another power of yours is that no one can hear you. It does not matter what you say, the words come out of your mouth and never reach your kids’ ears – or husband’s… or pets’, for that matter… And, of all the amazing things you are gifted with, this is BY FAR the most useless of all. It serves no purpose, other than wind you up, it never helps solve any crisis. If anything, it just aggravates the situation and is just PLAIN ANNOYING.

I don’t mean to undermine the super hero job, but one thing you cannot expect to happen is spin around yourself to change into your super hero clothes. Don’t bother trying! All you’ll achieve is a headache. And by the end of it, you will still be in your PJs and slippers, only with messier hair…

So far, this job does not seem very attractive or useful. But I have saved the best for last. The one thing that you and nobody else can, the ONLY job that matters and only you and super-dad can be trusted with, is this: you protect your little cubs. They know that there is no one on this earth that can do a better job and they trust one hundred percent that you will never fail. So no pressure, super-mom!

Kids might not be certain whether monsters really exist or not, but they know for sure that in the worst case scenario, you can beat those ugly scary guys hands down and still have dinner ready for them (the kids, not the monsters…). Cause super-hero-mom ain’t scared of nobody!! You can chase away nightmares, make any weird noise in the night sound ok, tackle the whole world if you have to. There isn’t ANYTHING you cannot do AND you do it better than any other super-hero-mom.  Feels goooooood!!

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