Jobs a mom is expected to excel: part three

So far, when you become a mom, you also become a super cop and a sports coach. But that’s not all…

A third job you happen to master TOTALLY is doctor. And yet again, not just any doctor; you are a specialist in every single body part. But mainly, you are the best at putting band aids – which cure a lot of diseases as we all know… and kissing booboos good bye.

Now, this is one of these jobs where practice makes perfect. So the more kids, the better doctor you are. With the first child, you are far too worried to miss something critical so you drive to the pediatrician at the first sneeze. If it gets more serious (i.e. two sneezes), you don’t take any chances and go straight to the emergency room. Once you get more children, you have to become more… practical. Because for starters, if you keep driving a kid to the doctor when he is sick, you can be sure the healthy one will catch something while sitting in the waiting room. And secondly, as much as you might like your doctor, you don’t want to be paying his house mortgage all by yourself. So you have to have some guideline in place. You spend a lot of time researching on the internet, “rash with white and red spots across stomach”, or “weird sounding cough with purple prickles on tongue”. For the real diseases like these ones -whatever they might be, you still have to go to a real doctor.

But if your kids are fibbers like mine, you need to discern a genuine concern from a bogus illness. Which takes a lot of knowledge, as there are way more bogus diseases than real ones. Admittedly, it’s not that hard. All you have to say is, “OK, I’ll call school to tell them that you are staying home.” And if they start bouncing off the wall at the thought, you know you should still be packing their lunch. Because they are not sick, they are just “sick”.

Honestly, by the time you have three kids, you should be allowed to open your own practice.



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