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Jobs a mom is expected to excel: Part two

Last week, I started this five fold blog about jobs that you become expert at when you have kids. Not that you train for them, not that you learn by observing, or reading. No, you just turn into this skilled, multi-talented master the day you give birth, kinda… Abracadabra!!!

Your first new assignment is super-cop. Check the previous post, it will tell you everything you already know. So you’ll learn nothing, but you might get a good laugh out of it.

Another job you totally master with having kids is sports coach. And not just sports coach: ANY sports coach.  HA! Referees can only manage one sport – and according to your trained and knowledgeable eye, not always that well, soccer coaches don’t teach ice hockey, basketball ones don’t excel in ballet. But you!!! You are there, on that baseball field, telling the kids what to do, yelling at the referee for being clueless. No football quarterback can impress you, because quite obviously, they could do with your advice. And those Lacrosse kids! What are they doing?!! Can’t they hear you shouting all the right instructions from the side line?

Every mom is different and as we raise our children, we all have our own way of handling various situations. But when we become sports coach, somehow, we all unite. We forget our difference in background, culture, what we do, our likes and dislikes. We have one common goal: shaming our kids!

Because, let’s face it, no amount of yelling bizarre instructions is ever going to make us sound like we know what we are talking about. Actually, quite the opposite. Most of the time, we are clueless. But never mind that! That’s not gonna stop us from being full of it!

“Come on!! Boot it!”

“Throw the ball, you are on side!!”

“Open guys, open!!”

we also get an A+ for yelling at the referee. They make so many mistakes, seriously!! And ALWAYS in favor of the opposite team! We would do the job for free if anyone was asking us. But nobody ever does. I wonder why that is…

When none of that yelling seems to be getting us anywhere, our last resort is to take it on the kids themselves. Preferably not ours, but at this stage, frankly, anything goes…

As if our sports coach job was not hard enough, our kids hate us when we wear that hat (sports coach / hat, get it!!). But being a mom has its  moments of ungratefulness and tough decisions to make… It’s not like we choose to be like that anyway, it’s more like… kind of a… disease…

 

 

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