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Jobs a mom is expected to excel at: part four

So far, I have taught you (yes! I am that pretentious!) that when you become a mom, you develop talents for certain jobs. I don’t think that “talent” is the right word. It’s more like a gift: you did not know you had it in you, and you are so darn perfect at it, without even trying to.

The first job that you can add to your resume is super cop. The second one is super sports coach. The third one is super doctor. Check out the previous posts about these amazing skills.

Today, I am going to tackle job number four: magician. Not to undermine your other skills, but this is probably the most impressive of all. Because let’s face it: nobody believes that magicians actually do magic. We all know it’s down to a combination of tricks and dexterity, right? Yet, EVERYBODY expects you to perform miracles on a daily basis. Maybe you are more like a goddess. But that’s not really a job, is it?

The most basic trick you are expected to master is to make things disappear: booboos, worries, monsters, broccoli. SHI-KA-BOOZ!!!! Gone…..

In an exceptional case of reversed skills, you are also expected to make certain things appear: ipods, bonbons, lost soccer balls, friends. Feeling up to the challenge?

Some of us are better at this job than others. I know that in my house, my magical powers seem to be topsy-turvy: broccoli appear and ipods disappear. But I am a work in progress…

There is way more to your powers than these basic stuff though. Don’t you let anyone reduce your job to things appearing and disappearing! That’s only the tip of the iceberg, the easy bit.

You also need to solve riddles by reading minds. When your ten year old asks, “Mom, when is it?”, you automatically know he is talking about his best friend’s birthday.  Believe me, this conversation would be a lot different if he was asking your husband…

“Dad, when is it?” (Repeat three times before dad even budges.)

“When is what?”

“No, not what? When!”

“What?”

“What’s what?”

“What are you saying?”

“What?”

“No. I said that! What do you want?”

“I don’t know. Doesn’t matter…”

“OK. Good!”

When your other son says, “What is it called?”, it’s quite obvious to you he is talking about the brand of the new shingards he looked up on a website a few days ago. No need to replay this with your husband answering, I am sure you get the picture.

Finally, and probably the toughest skill you possess is to make the impossible possible.

Your eldest has soccer training while your middle child goes to a birthday party at the exact same time in a completely different location and your four year old has a play date at a friend’s house. Nobody told you any of that. And to make things just a teeny weeny bit more challenging, you are waiting for your sofa to be delivered between 6am and 11pm. And you know for a fact that the delivery truck will show up just when you decide to step out of the house for a minute. Oh, by the way, you are not allowed to ask for any extra help. And still, SOMEHOW, you manage to do it all. Every day!

So if you ever feel tired at night, and you wonder why, it’s because all that magic business drains A LOT of your energy batteries. Which, yet again, you are able to (magically) recharge as soon as another riddle or impossible crisis shows its tail. So kudos to you, moms!!! You make this world go round, magically!

 

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