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Managing the crises: mom’s job description

When I think about my job as a mom, it is fair to say that a lot of my time is spent managing crises.

What’s a crisis? Well, according to the dictionary, “it is a difficult or dangerous situation that needs serious attention”. Pretty wide spectrum, what d’you think?

When you don’t have kids, crises are usually work-related and therefore, not crises really, unless you are a surgeon… Rarely, you might have home crises that are life threatening, like your condo block collapses, or you trip down the stairs and break something (that’s not life threatening, but it’s ok to be an attention seeker occasionally…). That’s about it.

When you have kids, you need to focus more on the “serious attention” part of the definition. For example, when your two year old proudly announces that he can now change his dirty diaper all by himself, while he is running around butt-naked with a “loaded package” dripping all over the floor, that’s a crisis. It might not be dangerous (other than for your sanity) but it requires serious attention.

Or when you don’t hear your five year old for a couple of minutes, you ask, “What are you doing?” and they answer, “Nothing”, drop whatever it is you are busy with AT ONCE and run to check. They are probably gluing the dog’s ears, giving your computer keyboard a drink, or cooking cold pasta and egg with chocolate powder and oil, lots of it. Or taping paper on their sibling…

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Or when you are looking for your lipstick and as you search every drawer in your bathroom, with a, “Where the $@& is my lipstick?”, you hear your child call from the other room, “Got it, mom!”, that’s pretty serious. Because not only is it smooched all over their face, but it’s on the walls, curtains and floor. And after they did that, they ate whatever was left.

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Sometimes, you might be tempted to call for some help in order to minimize the crisis and get some stuff done for a change. But if your idea of help is a grandfather, don’t bother planning anything other than spend the day going from one disaster to the other. Granddads are just like kids. With more dangerous ideas. And they don’t worry about what you’re gonna say, so…

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… Yeah, not the kind of help you had in mind when you wanted safe and quiet day. But, whatever…

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Comments

  1. Nailed it! I am so having one of those weeks!!

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