Some things have to change around here

Morning grumpiness must go! That’s not a New Year’s resolution, it’s a complete life change! N.O.  M.O.R.E!

Every morning I get up early – already not a good start for me, but I have accepted that it is part of my job description: I must get three kids ready for school. It doesn’t matter that I want to laze around, I can’t.  I don’t tend to get up in a bad mood. Frankly, I don’t have enough energy to be in any type of mood. But I am telling you, it takes the patience of a saint and the zen of a professional optimist to not be in a bad mood within an hour of being up.

First, I get kid number one up. He is great! he always wakes up with a smile, and a million stories to tell already. This is immediately followed by him falling back to sleep, then him forgetting to get dressed, not having his bag ready, not finding his shoes, stepping out of the house with no coat, and generally nearly missing the bus. So I am wondering whether the smile he wakes up with is just a way to say, “You want me to get up? You wait and see what’s coming next…” By the time he is in the bus, I am on edge, He wouldn’t take much more than a tiny push to tip me over the bad mood side. Which is taken care of by kids two and three.

One always wakes up in a horrendous mood and blames everything on me. School is my fault, the weather is my fault, the day of the week is my fault. So yeah, cheer up, me!! The other one wakes up smiling, only to burst into tears the second after, at the realization that I already had a shower, or I have not had one yet, or there is school, or there is no school.

Inevitably, after all that drama, my mood changes from non existent to foul, to terribly foul. But who can blame me? It wouldn’t be so bad if I liked being in a bad mood But I don’t. I am not saying that on occasions, I don’t enjoy being a total jerk to everybody and when they say, “What’s up with you? Why are you so mean?”, I just go, “I am in a bad mood. So back off!” But that’s not the norm. Generally speaking, I prefer to be nice and mellow.

So things have got to change. The morning routine needs to be turned into a pleasant experience, as opposed to a series of meltdowns and screaming episodes.

In order to lift everybody’s spirit in the morning and start the day on a wonderful, light note, I have decided that from now on, I will make up my kids with a joke. Every single morning. Starting with, this morning,

“What do birds say when they play Hide and Seek?”

“Argh… go away, mom!” was how my kids greeted my new morning ritual. But that did not stop me from serving them my punch line,

“No. They say Tweetaboo!” Now if that does not put everybody in a good mood, then I don’t know what will.

I know you are thinking I won’t be able to keep that up for very long. But you should have more faith in me. I already have tomorrow’s joke lined up, and I know you are DYING to know what it is. Plus, if I ever run out, I have a book of The Best Knock-Knock Jokes Ever so that should keep me going for a year or two.


Okay, I’ll tell you my joke for tomorrow,

“What do pigs say when they greet one another? ”

“Oink, oink, pigs to meet you!” I  know! So funny, right?!

Speak Your Mind