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Where do babies come from?

As kids grow up, parents have to adapt to their changing levels of maturity. For example, when they ask, “Where do babies come from?”, the answer  varies depending on the age of the person asking. OBVIOUSLY! You cannot tell a three year old where babies come from. My oh my!!! They would never recover! Likewise, if you explain to your ten year old that babies grow in the garden, you will give the poor little guys some nightmare material for years to come! So you have to be wise, and assess what kind of answer can your kids (and you!) cope with ….

In my home, we are blessed with a multicultural household, so we have an almost endless stream of explanations as to where babies come from. here are a few examples…

At four, babies come from birds. Pelican-looking beasts fly above houses with babies tucked into a handkerchief, or a napkin, and drop them in a chimney.  It’s not weird, nobody argues with this astonishingly strange explanation. There is no worry about why birds would have a supply of babies to distribute, how do these babies get down the chimney, did any bird ever miss the chimney and the poor babies get stuck on a roof. Nope! none of that. which in itself is surprising. Because four year olds are usually pretty curious, and are known to ask, “Why?” about anything.

“We are eating!”

“Why?”

“Because it is lunch time.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“Because it is 1pm”

“But Why?”

However, when it comes to a birds dropping babies in chimneys of people who have “ordered” them, no question asked!!

As if this was not disturbing enough, in France, baby girls come from flowers and baby boys from  cabbage. No four year old has ever questioned how the babies grow, whether they need watering, who harvests them, when are they ripe, are there baby farms. No! Cabbage babies seem to make total sense. Go figure…

At six, babies come from seeds from mommy and daddy. Now, this is starting to get a little complicated. But once again, there is no question about the seeds, where they come from, what they look like, nothing! And if you have a curious little guy / gal at home, who is interested in how do the seed get in mommy’s tummy, you can always get away with, “I’ll tell you when you are older”. So no need to blush yet, you have another few years ahead of you before you have to face the harsh reality of where do these babies come from, FOR REAL!!

At eight, daddy plants the seed in mom’s tummy. Come on, just face it, it’s time for THE TALK: how does he do that?!! Honestly, I am not a coward, but I really think it is for dads to explain how they manage that trick. My motto is, “He who plants the seed tells the story!” So don’t you rely on me to give you some tips on that one. I have bailed out of it twice already and I am telling my four year old that there are questions only dads know the answer to … Just preparing the field, doing the ground work, you know…

After that, you really don’t need to be concerned about that question anymore. Because when kids start to get the big picture of where do these babies come from, they really, really, really do NOT WANT to know any details. Way too disgusting…

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